My blessing!

I can't believe Shepard is over 6 months old now. Where has time gone? So much has happened since he was born that it feels like a lot longer, but at the same time I feel like I just set my eyes on this precious little boy. He was born in April and we went through a soccer season and a teeball season. We made 2 trips to Memphis, a trip to Louisiana, a weekend trip to Alaska and a 10 day move to Alaska. I started back working a full time job and the boys have started another season of soccer. 2 boys are in school and we are moving into winter. Seems like a lot for 6 months. 

This little guy has been a trooper through all of our adventures. He has blessed me with many full nights of sleep and such a laid back personality. He is one of the happiest babies I have ever seen, and I'm not just being biased. He is full of smiles and giggles. 

We have had some stresses with him, but again he has just been a trooper through it all. 

The first 2 months were so easy. Eat, sleep, and poop. Weighed in at 10lbs 2oz at his 2 month checkup and growing well. We then began our journey to Alaska including a stop in Memphis and Louisiana. He seemed to be eating well and sleeping great. As our journey was ending I noticed he was seeming a little bit smaller and he wasn't nursing as well. I began supplementing some because I thought he may have lost a few ounces over the trip. After we were finally able to get our insurance stuff transferred to the base hospital here, I got him in to see the doctor. To my surprise at almost 4 months old he weighed 9lbs 10oz. A whole 1/2 lb less than 2 months.  I was scared, upset, and felt awful. I couldn't do anything but blame myself. How could I let this happen to my baby? Was I not feeding him enough? I didn't know if there was something wrong with him or what. We were already going through a nursing strike on his part and so I was already supplementing some, so I didn't know what else to do. For the next 8 weeks we continued to go back and forth to the Dr.'s for weight checks and tests to try and figure out what was causing him not to gain weight. The first two weeks he only put on 3 oz, followed by the next 2 weeks with an 8 oz gain. The next two week period consisted of constant feedings either by breast or bottle every 2 hours or less during the day. He gained 1lb in that two weeks. I was thrilled, the Doctor not so much. He was still way below the 0% on the growth chart and she started to worry about how it could affect his development. She started talking about him being malnourished for a period of time and what it could have done/do to his development. The guilt came back. Did I starve my baby? I thought I was doing the right thing by nursing him and he seemed happy. How could I have been harming him. Was there anything wring with him? They did all sorts of tests over this time period, blood counts, cystic fibrosis test, celiac test, and thyroid function. Everything came back normal thankfully, but I still stress that something could be wrong. He is such a good baby, that I feel like I am just waiting for the sky to fall. His last weight check he weighed in at 12lb 2 oz. Still way under 0% on the growth chart! but he is growing! he is happy! and he is hitting his milestones. 

It is still stressful trying to breast feed him and supplement him enough to where he is getting enough calories in, but we are getting there. Sometimes I wonder why I am nursing since apparently I produce skim milk and he needs so much supplementation. I guess I do it to have that bonding time with him and with hopes that he is still getting the benefits of breast feeding.

I feel like he is such a blessing and I am so grateful for his health. There could have been something seriously wrong with him to cause his weight issues and I worried for a long time that the doctors were missing something, but now I am just grateful. He is a healthy, happy, beautiful baby boy. Hopefully him being a runt will continue being our biggest concern.